Are you Tuvi?

But the light is what will work out the kinks of your darkness

One, two, three, skip a beat, five, six, seven, skip a beat, nine, ten.

The only thing that stopped Tuvi from chewing her nails was the fact that she didn’t have any more nails to chew. When anxiety knocked at her door, she gladly opened up and her fingernails paid the price. She knew anxiety when she knocked and anxiety knocked slowly and in a familiar pattern.

One, two, skip a beat, three, four, five, skip a beat, six.

Anxiety always walked into her, slowly as if dreading every step. When anxiety knocked at her door, she gladly opened up and her fingernails paid the price. She chewed them and chewed them and even through the stabbing pain she found very temporary relief.

Are you Tuvi?

What does anxiety do to you when she knocks?

I am Tuvi. I close my laptop and I run to twitter and through the pain, all I get is one shot of dopamine. I itch and itch for more. The one-shot is never enough. So I enter the virtual bird world and I shut the door to harder things.

Soon Tuvi heard panic knock at the door. He knocked frantically. Screaming her name when she hesitated to open the door. When panic came, her concentration was even more shredded. Panic usually tore it to pieces, pieces she would not pick up in a long time and so the floor of her head is always littered with unfinished projects. Panic and anxiety would occupy one corner of her, constantly screaming at each other. One made the other erratic.

Are you Tuvi?

What does panic do when it bangs on your door?

I am Tuvi. I lay on the floor devastated. I cannot move. I am afraid of what I might become, of what others will say, of what I know I am good at.

It seems like a bad idea to start the first issue of tall tales with a particularly sad tale, but if you’ve been lurking around the corners of the internet, and feeling dreadful like I am writing this, you would knowingly agree with me when I say, it is what it is.

Every one of us is Tuvi. At some point, we have sat down to do the things that matter most to us and we've chickened out. We've cried foul when we have read a book and summarized principles and didn’t apply it, we've littered our minds with things undone, and our voices have become a sound of silence.

I want to address that hollow feeling because I have felt it and still feel it. But the light is what will work out the kinks of your darkness. The solution to anxiety and panic when you're about to start a new project, to write that book, to learn that course, is simple to say and even simpler to attain if you will stay on it.

The key is the mind. Hold on. Stay with me now.

The mind is like an operating system. The data you feed it will be given back to you. You feed your mind with the kind of content you consume. When you continuously consume content that heightens your anxiety and makes you panic you will eventually give them express invitations into your head. The word content is so relevant to our generation but sounds over flogged. The content you consume includes everything.

The stories your friends tell you, the advice you listen to, the words that diminish your self-esteem, the music and music videos, the movies, and even the memes. The social media posts that make you afraid. Content is anything we hear or watch. If affects our lives.

On the flip side of your mental health universe, you can load your mind with healthy information, with uplifting content. You will eventually have nothing but healthy positive thoughts to give out.

I have tried this and it works. The bible is such an amazing place to learn about how loved and amazing I am.

Now now, don’t go off to youtube searching for positive content just yet.

I want to challenge you to take cognizance of the content that flies past and through you. Optimize your mind to receive good. It takes a while but you can do this.

Whenever those depressing thoughts come alive, don’t curl into a ball and roll in tears, take courage and listen to something positive. When the darkest nights arrive,  only pick light.

I look forward to serenading you every other Thursday, and on occassionally on Mondays.

Till we read again Tuvi, stay strong.

with love and light,

Chisom.